I grew up right at the tipping point of the age of technology. I was one of the first generations in my town to have a “typing” class AND a handwriting course. I was one of the last generations where hand written reports were normal and only certain kids had computer access to type them. I didn’t have a phone till eighth grade, and no my first phone wasn’t a touch screen smart phone. You get the idea.
I never knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to be everything as long as it as creating, I thought I could be everything and I think that helped me. I used to shoot, style, and create my own magazine spreads. When I first started blogging, I approached it like I was curating Vogue. I had folders and folders, stacked on scrap books of cut outs from magazines and print outs from the home desktop in my kitchen full of inspiration. Buy creativity came directly from fashion Gods and I was on a budget out to recreate and put my own twist on it. I dug up some of the photos from those days.
I think its clear to see I was influenced by editorial work. And I also think that while this work is juvenile (I mean I was using a point and shoot self timer where I would sprint back and forth to make the pictures), it was some of my best conceptually.
I realized I liked fashion and started blogging. I began doing more commercial styled shoots because that is what other bloggers do and to be honest it was easy. I compromised my values because of the pull of getting free product. I think my artistic integrity has become compromised. I want to go back to when I thought I was worthy of Vogue. I want to be undaunted and I want to move in a more editorial direction. I want to send the messages I like, express myself and not just say where to buy pieces of clothing.
Sometimes you have to look backwards before you can move forward. I want to make the 2013-2015 version of myself proud, because she knew what she wanted and she wasn’t brainwashed by media. Looking at the old pictures was like opening a time capsule that shook me out of the haze I have been sinking into for the past three years. I hope as always you will bare with me through this growth.